Day 29 - Keychain

What a great summary by Optimistic of Sebastian Drake's talk! I really can't top that in terms of an excellent breakdown, so let me just relate a few personal 'highlights' as they struck me.

First, Blackswan's book reviews of 'Blink' and 'Influence' were excellent. Blackswan is very intelligent and has a gift for absorbing large chunks of information and presenting it back. He spoke clearly, concisely and with a great presentation style - he has a great method of communicating complex ideas in a simple, understandable way. I learned a lot. Whichever of the mini-Rockstars gets to spend one-on-one time with Blackswan this week will be in excellent hands (I might try to overhear some of his tips and steal them, lol!).

Sebastian's talk was excellent. Some LSS guys joined us. He took questions (mine was about how to tell captivating stories) and gave truly masterful answers. He even managed to answer some very odd questions and transition into excellent stuff...very impressed and honoured to hear him.

Afterwards, I just thanked him. I didn't really know what to say - everyone was chatting and he was talking with everyone individually or in groups of two etc... I wanted to make a personal connection (because I really resonated with his attitude) but felt my efforts would be lost in the background noise.

So I was sticky - just expressed my genuine thanks, mentioned something about a shared hobby and then left. This way, if we meet again, I can be sticky again etc...I haven't lost value, I've just been visible. In a situation like that, after a talk, when he's swamped with people, I can only see three ways to be anything more than sticky without coming across as low value:

- Ask an insightful question or demonstrate/uncover some sort of personal connection in the talk itself (or immediately afterwards).
- Be introduced by a high-value person.
- Offer some sort of immediate value. (this is risky without first establishing a solid respect plarform)

I love getting to know awesome people, and Sebastian seemed really awesome. As it was, I heard an inspiring talk and got a bit sticky. Lol, not bad for a Sunday evening!



Anyway, a couple of points that really hit home with me:

1) Sebastian likened pickup to sports. A good football team playing a bad team will play good, solid game and just win by being better. No need for risky strategies or flashy moves - just play solid game and outclass the competition.

However, a bad team playing against a good team will pull out all the risky maneouvers. They've got nothing to lose anyway - so they'll try solo runs, crazy tricks and stuff that MIGHT work, because they may as well.

Similarly with game, a lot of high-energy, crazy-bunny-rabbit game is great for beginners. They have nothing to lose...they may as well run up to a girl and tell her she's fucking gorgeous and they want to fuck her in the bathroom. What the hell, it'll work some of the time, which is way better than the none-of-the-time they were getting before.

But, as you get better, and you know that your game is tight, there is no need for this kind of behaviour. Why introduce a crazy element that runs the risk of blowing the girl out? Sure, X-tactic may well create a big attraction spike...but it may also blow you out...if your game is good, and you want the girl, you know that you can just play it solidly and get her. Why fuck around?

Obviously, this is advanced stuff - when you're learning, it's best to try everything to properly set your social calibration, understand what is possible etc...push the boat out. But the danger is that you become reliant on these flash-game pieces. Your game grows around these fancy set pieces, and it can stunt your growth long term. You end up being so heavily-specialised that other areas of your game lie underdeveloped.

It is like a guitar teacher who does one thing very well (ie, can play Smoke on the Water really great) but who doesn't know the first thing about anything else to do with music. Sure, he sounds great at parties when he plays his one song...but he doesn't really know what it takes to become a great guitarist (or even a competent one!). So, he puts a big ad' in the paper: 'Learn Smoke on the Water in A Day!!' and many students sign up. However, because he has lack of depth and 'big picture' perspective, his teaching methods harm his students. Sure, by the end of the day everyone can play Smoke on the Water, but they have picked up a hundred-and-one awful habits that will take weeks of mature instruction to undo.

Nobody is perfect, we all have blindspots and weakspots. The way to do it is to be very open an honest about what you can and can't do. That way, students have a sense of perspective about your role as teacher - they know that you are the not the one and only 'go to' guy about whatever skill you are teaching. You have one, two, three or four facets down great...but you haven't got it all. Nobody does. But we can aim for a good, rounded game. That was an interesting life perspective that Drake brought, and something I've heard Mystery talk about: aim for good, solid game.

This is a great insight because we have so many different and excellent styles of game being shown to us...i took this as a reminder to seek after developing the kind of game that is right for me. Keychain-game. This is something ALL the instructors tirelessly encourage, but it's sometimes easy for a newbie like me to forget it.

2) Another great perspective that hit home for me was: gradual change is sustained change. He specifically said that the way to see sustained health and fitness improvements is NOT to snap change, but to gradually change. Introduce good habits and exclude bad ones gradually.

I had begun something similar before Rockstar. Working on the principle that it takes 30-days to build a habit (thanks Eben Pagan!) I put together a proper stretching/yoga routine that took about a half hour to do. After thirty days, I started introducing some push-ups and situps etc...the idea was to build a healthy lifestyle that I could sustain, adding new elements piece by piece.

Some of the Rockstars went from normal foods straight onto an exclusive regime of shakes, pills, powders and snackbars. I admire their dedication! I knew this wouldn't be a sustainable lifestyle for me, so I didn't do it (although I was a bit worried I met get kicked off the programme!). Instead, I just bought green drinks (powdered vegetables which are awesome!) and some protein shakes to drink after working out. London Hunk's advice on these was spot on! No other supplements tho.

I know I keep harping on about this in my posts, but my fitness goals are not to gain a set amount of weight a week etc...rather, I aim to add/improve my health regime on a continuing, sustainable basis. I'm a healthy guy, I'm not in any immediate health danger that would require me to snap-change my diet. I'm in no rush to look like Brad Pitt or Vin Diesel. I may well get there eventually, but I'm not interested in cramming it all into 8 weeks...I'll just get better and better and better until I'm where I want to be. I don't understand, why the big rush? I know this approach isn't flashy, but (as Drake might say) I feel it's good, solid 'life game'.

It is a fair point that some people prefer to work on the complete, snap-change principal. All power to them. I just know (from having learned other skills to a high level) that I don't work that way on a long-term basis.

So yeh, amaaaazing insights from Sebastian. Really put my mind at ease. Thanks man.

Other interesting factoids...he mentioned he participated in a sport that I used to compete at national level for (was on UK team etc...). He also recommended a great book on business networking called 'Never Eat Alone' by Keith Ferrazzi. I actually quoted quite a bit from that book in my recent dissertation! One of my faves! Lol, funny coincidences. As you can see, there were a number of these little connections that really gave the talk extra punch and relevance to me. Awesome!

Until next time guys :)

Laters,

Keys